Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Konnichiwa, Bitches!

It’s time to begin what will probably be the greatest blog you have ever read. You can smell the testosterone seething from your computer’s speakers right now. If you don’t have speakers, what the hell kind of lame ass computer do you have?

We are here to educate and inform, to enlighten and entertain. Jekyll and I will tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to know about being a man. You’ll be amused, surprised, and offended (if we’re lucky). Women will be attacking us for our phone numbers, and sending us pictures of them naked eating hot dogs. Yes, we are just that amazing.

To the men out there, isn’t it about time to step up and have your voice heard? Too long you’ve been living in the shadow of some woman. Yes, a man has always been President of the greatest country in the world, but where do you think he keeps his balls? No, he keeps them in a plastic baggy neatly tucked into his wife’s purse.

Men, it’s time for a place for you to go and feel manly. Go on, walk around in your old, disgusting underwear. Let it fall right out. Drink beer and spill it on the carpet. We won’t tell. Fill the dishwasher but don’t rinse first. If your wife asks, blame it on the kids.

For the ladies out there, don’t stop reading! Here’s your chance to learn the secrets of guys. Have you ever looked at your husband, boyfriend, guy you wanted in high school and wondered what he’s thinking? Well, stay tuned, and you’ll learn everything you ever wanted to know about what he was thinking

This isn’t easy to stomach. Being a guy never is. That’s why there are so many antacids out there. We’re nasty!

Personal hygiene and eating habits aside, the male of the species are usually more attractive, stronger, and smarter than the females. And, it’s time, gentlemen, to show off our proverbial shiny feathers. No more sitting in the garage, smoking cigars in the dark under a blanket. We’ll find the best spots right in your house, and the wife will never have to know.

So, just sit back and enjoy the ride. It’s going to be fast, fun, drunken, and mostly naked. But, if we get lost, don’t even think about asking for directions. If you do, we’ll freaking leave you there!

Jekyll and The Testosterone Pundit

(Note: The title of this post is a reference to an episode of the Chappelle Show, the "Racial Draft" where the Wu Tang Clan gets drafted by the Asians--hence, the Asian midgets playing basketball as well.)

2 Comments:

Blogger something from me said...

I am looking forward to the ride.
If you want to know how to treat a woman read
http://somethingfromme.blogspot.com
AT

4:29 AM  
Blogger R2K said...

Such a wild page : )

7:10 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home