Monday, June 19, 2006

Father's Day: Another Women's Holiday

Well, yesterday was Father’s Day and as a gift to myself I left my computer off all day. I didn’t check email, my store or this blog. I planned on posting, but just didn’t get around to it (TFB!). Anyway, I managed to do a couple of things on my cohorts list, none of which involved watching Jenna Jamison or receiving oral sex. The truth is my Father’s Day ended before breakfast.

Have you ever noticed that even holidays that honor men are still more about the women. I have wanted to go this outrageous brunch place in Boston ever since I saw it advertised on TV. The place has lobsters, roast beast, and a great beer selection. I told my wife that all I wanted for Dad’s Day this year was to try this place for brunch. No gifts, no home cooked meal; I was even willing to forego sex (not a difficult sacrifice these days). I even made reservations, a responsibility usually of my wife.

Well Sunday has come and gone and I would love to tell all about the great brunch we had, but we didn’t go. Why didn’t we go? She didn’t feel like driving (riding) into Boston. Instead we met her father and mother for breakfast at Denny’s. Not that I have anything against Denny’s, but they don’t have lobsters, roast beast or beer. Oh, let’s face it Denny’s sucks!

Now if my lovely wife wanted to spend Mother’s Day at a fancy restaurant or take a trip to the coast and I made her meet my mother anywhere I would suffer. When it comes to birthdays and anniversaries we do what ever she wants. There is no discussion, yes I am allowed input, but don’t be fooled I know my place. My suggestions only involve things that I know she likes. In fact the only suggestions I make are the ones she has trained me to make.

For Christmas last year money was tight. We decide that we would not exchange gifts and spend our holiday savings on the kid. Now, I am not stupid I know damn well that no gift means she had better have something to open Christmas morning. So I stopped going for coffee in the morning and brought lunch to work for a while (yet another reason some think I’m gay). When Christmas came I had saved enough for our son to buy mom a small pearl bracelet (no I didn’t buy it a Wal-Mart), some perfume and a few other knickknacks. When time came to exchange gifts I caught grief for making her look bad. She stuck to our promise and (according to the court documents…her memory) I went out of my way to make her look like a bad wife. No thank you, no hug, nothing; mind you she didn’t return the gifts.

In closing I would just like to leave you with a few words wisdom. Father’s Day, Christmas, anniversaries, Easter, or any other holidays one can think of are all intended for women. The next time you wife, girl friend, or chick you’re bangin’ tells you she doesn’t want a gift, listen. And let me know if you ever get laid after that day…

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with any of this…I just felt like we needed a hot chick to remind us the why we let them do what they do.


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