Thursday, June 01, 2006

People I’d Like To See Kicked in the Nuts (or Other Junk)

I had a recent experience which I will not share for fear of embarrassing myself and the parties involved (or possibly getting sued). However, it did inspire in me the kind of anger that I rarely experience. I’m a calm guy. Give me a beer, a burger, and something naked, and I’m happy as a pig in crap.

This particular experience had me seeing red. In fact, I was so angry that I wanted to kick the guy in the nuts (the sack). I refrained. I’m not a fighter; I’m a lover. But, it did get me thinking about how awesome it would be to see some people who I like less than others take a shot in the testicles (or other junk).

(Vocabulary note. Your “junk” are your makin’ sweet love organs, male or female. Your “sack” is exclusive to men.)

I made a list of people who need to get kicked in the junk:

*The guy who pissed me off yesterday. I can’t say who he is or what he does, but I wanted nothing more than to turn him into a woman.

*Ashton Kutcher. Who the hell does this guy think he is? I’ve said this before, but I want someone to jump out a of a van, plow him good, and drive off.

*Ryan Seacrest. I want to see him cry like a woman, plain and simple. Maybe Simon and Paula can line up with me. Simon can go twice.

*Cindy Sheehan. This was the woman who followed the President around the country protesting because her son got killed in Iraq. I wanted the President to walk out, tell her to get a job, kick her in the junk, and go back in.

*Terrell Owens. What a moron! I can’t wait to see Bill Parcells nail his idiotic ass the first time he jerks around at training camp. I’ll be the Tuna can kick right through an athletic protector.

That’s just a sampling of people who could stand to be emasculated. Any others I missed? Feel free to share.

And remember, if there’s grass on the field, put up a tent, throw some steaks on the barbeque, and play some flag football with the sorority girls having a carwash across the street.

The Testosterone Pundit


Blogger atomised said...

A good candidate is any guy wearing spandex I should think.
Great pictures...again.

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