Friday, June 02, 2006

Remember These Boobs?

It’s a pretty sad day when one of the hottest of women on viewable TV is Lois Griffin. What happen to shows with chicks like Daisy Duke (who didn’t age well), Jody Banks, CJ Parker and Cheetara. These were the hot chicks of television before TIVO. They were on shows that relied on a combination of real men (Hasselhoff being the exception) doing cool hero stuff and explosions. There was no need for complicated story lines and huge budgets. Heather Thomas standing between two swinging doors in a hot pink string bikini kept my attention just fine. Plus I didn’t feel dirty for thinking she was hot. Unlike the preteens that trot around half dressed on those shows my cohort watches, these women were old enough to drink beers.

Let’s take Daisy Duke for instance. A role recently reprised by Jessica Simpson on the big screen was originally played by Catherine Bach. Now I know Ms. Bach aged like blue cheese, but in her day she was hot. Even if she was shaggin’ her cousins and keeping Uncle Jesse happy on the side she knew how to sling beers. The Dukes of Hazzard was the perfect show. It required no real attention to enjoy, it had the General Lee, dynamite strapped to arrows and Daisy was always in heels. There was only one main road in Hazzard County so no one ever got lost or abducted by the Chinese secret service.

Coming in a close second to our southern bell was the Fall Guy’s Jodi Banks. I’m not quite sure what became of Heather Thomas after the Fall Guy and her one episode appearance on TJ Hooker, but I would assume she is heavily medicated somewhere trying to wash the captain Kirk smell off. The first hot chick poster I ever had was Heather in a blue leather bikini. Man, that poster helped me fill many a sock.

Moving up the timeline a bit we find the quintessential blond bombshell CJ Parker. Now I can’t say Baywatch was great television. In fact it was down right bad. However, any show that puts that many wet legal breasts on television at one time needs to be recognized. There were enough boobs per square inch of beach to squelch David Hasselhoff’s ego. In the grand scheme of things quality acting and dialogue were unnecessary. Bathing suits filled with bouncing boobs jogging through the surf was enough to arouse the attention any male viewer.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a nod to Cheetara the original hottie cartoon. The only female Thundercat she could really wear spandex. This doodle paved the way for a world where it is now acceptable to find animated chicks hot. Now if we could make it possible for guys like Peter Griffin really get babes like Lois we would be on the verge of a utopia.

4 Comments:

Blogger Zephra said...

I Came over from When the night doth meet the moon. Really enjoyed the post. I remember wanting to be Cheetara when I was a kid. Thanks for the memories.

9:57 AM  
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