Monday, June 26, 2006

Summer Flick Picks...

Just for the record my friend and fellow scribe was not glued to his seat during the Olympics…he was stuck in it. He does however raise some valid points when it comes to appropriate viewing selections. Moreover, he is a like a ninja when it comes to his artful TV abilities, if it were not for the sounds and scents of his ass one would never know he was in the room. Better than that he found a picture of two hot chicks rolling around in the sand together, bravo! Bravo!

All kidding aside his post last evening has inspired memories of some of my all time favorite summer movies. Thus far this season has proven to be a wet one and afforded me much time to revisit my video collection. Here a list of my five favorites:

Number five on my list is none other than Caddyshack. A rainy summer day can always be brightened by Bill Murray trying to stuff a hundred pounds of plastic explosive into a gopher hole. Chevy Chase trying to stuff Lacy Underall and Ted Knight’s nephew stuffin’ his finger up his nose.

Animal House comes in at number four. The fraternity every college freshman dreams of. John Belushi is in his prime smashing guitars and pounding bottles of Jack. Others using stories of young girls dying in a kiln explosion to get laid, poor Fawn. Plus TP reminds me of Flounder and you’ve got love Flounder.

Three on my list is Dumb and Dumber. Not much needs to be said here. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels look like Einstein compare to some of my colleagues. There's a Chevy dog, jet way tumbles and explosive diarrhea. What’s better that explosive diarrhea in a hot chicks bathroom?

Chiming in at number two is Happy Gilmore. Adam Sandler coming to blows with Bob Barker and getting his ass kicked. Better than that it has dream sequence with a midget riding a broomstick horse. According to my experience there is always room for midgets. Have you ever seen a bad movie that has a midget in it? Huh? Have you?

Last, but certainly not least, my all time favorite movie, Jaws. There is no better summer film. Roy Schieder, Dick Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw against the biggest fish bitch New England has ever seen. There is no tougher man that Captain Quint. This guy gets bitten in half by a shark and still manages to grab a machete on his way down. The man refuses to wear lifejacket, makes moonshine from shark bones and thinks he can catch a 20 foot shark with piano wire. We should all take a page from Quints book on manliness.


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