Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wanna Play Midget Tag?

By the end of freshman year Midget Tag had become an institution among my fraternity brothers and anyone else that roamed in our circle. I knew it was out of control when the game carried over into the summer. My roommate called me late one night from some small town down south. He was spending the summer traveling around the country and had stopped at some fleabag motel for the night. I think he was in Alabama or Georgia, making his way to Louisiana.

The phone rang about 1 AM; he had just left some bar and was heading back to his room when he witnessed his first redneck midget. According to his report and a few pictures that I am trying desperately to locate (It was 1992) he saw a feisty little person streaking across the motel parking lot. Drunk with a mullet, tattooed and naked as a Jaybird, this wonderful wee person was in hot pursuit of someone. We never actually found out what this guy was after or for that matter where he ended up. Images of flashing blue lights and pimps always seem to come alive when I remember this phone call.

This report became only one in series of a summer communications that recorded a search of oddities from across the country. To this very day, I receive phone calls and email every once in a while telling of such events. I too have made my share of calls. Today I am bringing this pastime to the Internet (God forgive me).

The rules are simple; it’s determining a winner that is hard. We play in rounds of undetermined length. A round usually ends at a reunion dinner or group gathering. Some rounds have lasted as long as year others as short as a summer. The person with the best story usually has his tabbed picked up by the group of is given a case of beer. For our purposes I have created a few guidelines:

  • The objective is simple. When ever you are lucky enough to witness any odd, disturbing or particularly humorous event it must be reported within 24 hours (give or take a week). Special consideration is to be given to any event involving midgets. Pictures and recordings are encouraged, but the game is based on the honor code.

  • Each round will last as long as I feel like it should last. At the end of the round I will post what we think are the five funniest and most unique reports (reports can be left as comments on any post from now on or emailed). Participants will then be asked to vote for a winner. The idiots (i.e. Jekell & T.P.) reserve final say in determining the winner.

  • The winner will receive a prize (players within the continental United States only). I have no idea what that prize will be, but I promise it will be manly and you will all wish you had one.

  • Finally, please understand much of what we write about is in poor taste and often rude. We have no problem with good natured fun commentary. We also have no problem talking about porn and other borderline inappropriate things. We will not post, publish or condone anything that is of an explicitly sexual, pornographic nature or is hateful, illegal or illicit.

For late night midget fun click here… Midget Toss

***Picture retrieved on 6-14-06 for Middle East Online (http://www.middle-east-online.com/pictures/biga/_25122_midgets-30-7-2004.jpg)

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