Sunday, July 02, 2006

What a Tease

I know some things in my life. I know that I will never win an argument with my wife. I know that the weather in New England is always bad, no matter what season. And, I know that cellular phone service will never be more than mediocre. It just stands to reason. People have their cell phones glued to their ears. They can’t live without them.

I’m a cell phone company. Why would I spend more money (thus, making less profit) to provide better service when I can just do what I’ve been doing and make a butt load of money? The answer, of course, is: I wouldn’t.

Despite my severe dislike for the cell phone companies and their wholesale ripoff of the people of this country. I have a cell phone. And, despite how much I know they gouge prices, I went to buy a new one recently.

This is actually supposed to be the best part of the whole deal. As a guy, I go to the cell phone store looking for the most expensive phone with as many bells and whistles as possible. I want a phone that will make me more of a man; an extension of my already massive penis.

Beyond the basics of a freaking awesome phone, I like the chance to haggle with the salespeople and try to get a better deal. This is actually rather easy. My wife and I are both fast talkers, and the salespeople usually speak better Spanish than English. My wife is a bit bitchy when it comes to talking to salespeople, so it’s fun to watch her make them look foolish. I feel good about this because, for at least an hour, it’s not me she’s yelling at.

So, I’m all set. I have my Hawaiian shirt, my most comfortable shoes, and my poker face. It’s time to deal. The only problem is, I have to deal with my wife. Yes, I want the biggest, most expensive phone. Unfortunately, I have to settle for the one we can get without actually having to pay any money. So, I end up with the phone that looks just like my old phone.

Have you ever had sex and not had an orgasm? As rare as that is for a man, it does happen. That’s what cell phone shopping is like. I go to the store, and despite getting something for nothing, the cell phone company always wins. I got screwed there and didn’t enjoy it. To top it off, I go for prime rib and end up with some grade D beef for a phone. I get screwed by my wife there and didn’t get to enjoy that either. What is the lesson in all this? I guess I’ll have to go spank it, but I know better than to expect to enjoy that either.

And remember, if there’s grass on the field, put up a tent, throw some steaks on the barbeque, and play some two-hand touch football with the sorority girls having a carwash across the street.

The Testosterone Pundit

(Note: In lieu of a picture. Here is a link to a pretty funny video relating to cell phones. One day, I'll learn how to embed them. In the mean time, enjoy.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... » »

4:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info 15 gb mp3 players

5:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... » »

12:19 AM  
Anonymous said...


We just created new videosite

where without any downloads,

you can watch immediately

Music Video Clips,

Best Interviews with Travolta, Tarantino and other famous guys,

Funniest TV Shows,

Latest Movie Trailers and...

even Full Length Movies!

On bigger screen and better quality
then other sites!


6:50 AM  
Blogger LB said...

I've just inserted a link to you from'cause I think my visitors might like you. If you like it, inserting this in you link section would be appreciated.
Viewer Participation Television

Mine to you stays up, regardless.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You may probably be very curious to know how one can make real money on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin to get income with a money that usually is spent
for daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one company's work for several years,
and I'll be glad to let you know my secrets at my blog.

Please visit blog and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per daily now. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of hardship when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Nowadays, I'm happy and lucky , I begin take up real income.
It gets down to choose a proper partner who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the profit with me.

You can get interested, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to tell the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them: [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

6:15 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home